I know you may be saying, “Official” what does that mean? Well, it’s possible I may have dialed 911 by accident and I hung up immediately. I mean, hasn’t everyone?! Please say yes. Moving on….
So a couple of nights ago I was woken up in the worst way possible, by the smoke alarm. It was 3:30am. My husband works nights, and was due home at any time. Still being half-asleep I grabbed our ‘house’ ladder and yanked the thing out of the ceiling and pulled the battery out, thinking it was just a dead battery annoying the crap out of me in the middle of the night. A jammed finger and bruised shin later, the noise stopped. Hey, carrying a ladder around half asleep is tough, okay? Phew, problem solved. Wait…now what’s THAT noise?!?!…..It was a second smoke alarm going off in another room. As I walked the ladder to that room with all the lights on I realized, holy cow…there is indeed smoke in my house. These things are going off for a REASON! We’ve been having furnace issues and sure enough when I opened the closet where it’s stored it was real hot and super smelly; think melted plastic. So I call my husband at work and he’s busy with a patient (therefore realizing that he’ll be working late tonight, dangit!) and his coworker could sense a little scare in my voice to asked if everything was okay. I filled her in and asked her not to say anything to the hubs, but just to have him call me ASAP. She suggested I call 911. Wow, good call person who is not practically sleep walking, good call. And so it goes….my first officially 911 call. “Ummm yeah, my house is smoking a lot and it smells awful, can someone come help?” At this point in time, it’s 3:34am.
After I call, I grab my iPad, phone and “passport” (an external hard drive with every picture since 2008 in it) and drive my car out of the garage. Looking back, maybe not the best idea, but I didn’t want my car to go down in flames, and I figured I needed a warm place to sit. Finally, I’m appearing to be awake and alert and making some wise choices. So as I’m sitting in my car, I call my Dad in tears. I can’t even spit out what’s happening. And then the cop shows up and I pretty much hang up on my Dad so I can talk to him. Probably the worst thing a daughter can do to a parent. Oops, sorry Dad. It appears that my wise choices aren’t consistent. So here we go, cue sirens and lights.
So the police man and I walk back in to the house. First question, “Did you cook anything tonight?” Ummm, does cereal count? Eliminate oven. “Did you light any candles tonight?” I don’t do candles. Cue awkward stares, that’s all he’s got. Meanwhile my husband calls and I fill him in. Just want you want to hear at the end of your third 12-hour shift in a row…and this particular one has been a dosey and he’s actually on about hour 14. He’s real excited. Cue sarcasm. (He is glad I’m okay though! ;))
Soon the fireman show up and ask the same questions and immediately kick the police man and I out of the house. I forget my phone. I yet again realize, I am just sucking at life right now. I mean, it’s hard to think when you aren’t even wearing a bra. So yea, awesome, my husband is going to be calling left and right. So there I sit in my car. I have no idea what’s going on and just hope that flames haven’t burst out anywhere. I have my iPad, is it a bad time to play Candy Crush? (I don’t, for fear of judgement.)
Then they turn on a light that is as bright as the sun. Sorry neighbors! And speaking of, we have one of those wonderful neighbors that’s nosy, but in a good way. Like water-your-flowers-when-you-are-gone-without-even-asking-awesome. So he comes out, I fill him in with what I know (nothing) and tell him I forgot my phone inside and the fireman won’t get it/let me get it and the hubs probably going nuts and I don’t even know if he’s on his way home by now or not. He goes inside and brings me his. The.Best. Thank you!
So…blah, blah, blah. My husband gets home at 4:45am and the fireman finish up at about 5am and tell us that everything appears to be ‘fine’, minus the furnace, which they turned off. The smoke was tested and came back ‘clean’, so luckily I wasn’t exposed to anything toxic while sleeping and we can stay in our house as long as we could deal with the burnt plastic smell and now no heat. Gee, sounds great. But we did.
The next day we get the furnace man to our house (the third time this winter!) to find out that there is an internal fan that had melted. Cue burnt plastic smell being dead-on. So, we’ll be getting a new furnace, and hopefully our peace of mind back, come Monday. Cue Jimmy Buffett.
As for the smoke detectors I ripped out of the ceiling, they have been put back. Those things really work people! Check your batteries and never complain about that noise again, they literally can save your house…and life! Cue public service announcement.