Back to Work and I Didn’t Cry

It was a big week! I went to the office all five days and my little man had his first days at Day Care. And I didn’t cry. Let’s talk, shall we?
I was so lucky to ease back in to the working world like I did. My first week back my Mom was in town to watch Smith and I worked from home, minus popping in for a couple meetings. My second week Smith went to his other grandma’s for three days (Dad is home the other two!) and I worked from home a couple of those days also. Although I am extremely thankful for my employers flexibility, I was ready for the full routine of my new normal. No more hauling my pump around, no more conference calls listening to my little man play in the other room (almost more torture then day care if you ask me!), no more one-screen (dual monitors are key!) functionality.
So Monday came and it was time for that first drop off. That feeling of leaving your child in the hands of a stranger. But that’s just it. She doesn’t feel like a stranger. She’s been so pleasant to work with and her home is so warm. She charges by the day and is extremely open to our all-over-the-place lifestyle; a nurse that works 3/5 days a week and me who works shorter hours on Fridays. So with all that, I didn’t cry. I only teared up for a minute when she thanked ME for letting her watch our sweet boy. I mean, how kind was that!? I choked up that bit because I was…happy. Anyone who already knows they are lucky to get to watch my amazing son (*cough* bias Mom comment), well, she’s won my heart. And so with that, I headed off to work with a pep in my step and my eye on the clock. All things said, I was out the door at 5:00:30 on Monday. 🙂

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So, I do have a little more to say about this topic. And not crying. I felt guilty about it. About not crying. Because people made me feel guilty about it. “Ooooh, was it so hard?” “OOOh, did you cry?” “OOOh, do you miss him?” “How are you doing?” So here is the thing. Every Mom is going to be different. So this is strictly my story. I think some of the emotion comes from the build-up people make it to be. But I love my new normal. I love my job. I love coming home to my boys the days Aaron has off. I love pick up and the smile I get when it’s day care day. I love the routine. I love wearing real clothes again every day. I love that my son gets to interact with other kids. I love that other people get to know, play, and love my son. So no, I didn’t cry. In fact, I had a really great day (week!). And if you are one of those Momma’s that cries in the bathroom all day, that’s okay too. We are all okay.

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